Aching to Pupate

Femme, feisty, feminist, finding it harder to alliterate than I expected. Twenty-something, veg, queer, polyflexible, book-loving, Jewish college grad. My feminism is intersectional or it isn't worth shit. Directing my life marginally better than a butterfly in a hurricane.
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I, for one, can’t wait for the destruction of traditional family values Registered & Protected


After she came up to me and said, “I’ve been with my partner for 20 years… We would never get married because he’s on social security income, and because my daughter is disabled I have secondary income from the state to support my daughter. If I got married, both my benefits and his benefits would be reduced because we would become a double income family.”

She was explaining that marriage doesn’t work for poor people, and that it doesn’t work for disabled people. Having really simple examples like hers are important.

"  - What if the LGBTQ movement fought for prison abolition rather than same-sex marriage? Registered & Protected

These were my favorite Valentine’s Day PostSecrets this year. Registered & Protected


Stella De Libero wedding dresses.

I’m getting my wedding dress from this lady, and I don’t care what I have to do to make it happen, even if her gowns usually are only available in Japan.  Nothing else is over the top enough for me.

This is going to involve REALLY big hair, a royal length veil and all the rococo absurdity i can muster. Registered & Protected


One of the many reasons I don’t eat Chick-Fil-A.
*Edit, I thought it was obvious, but yes, this is propaganda.

Yes, it’s shopped, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome


One of the many reasons I don’t eat Chick-Fil-A.

*Edit, I thought it was obvious, but yes, this is propaganda.

Yes, it’s shopped, but that doesn’t make it any less awesome Registered & Protected


Why, just last week, Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council said that marriage has meant just [one man and one woman] for over five thousand years.


Time to break out your Bible, Mr. Perkins! Abraham had two wives, Sarah and her handmaiden Hagar. King Solomon had 700 wives, plus 300 concubines and slaves. Jacob, the patriarch who gives Israel its name, had two wives and two concubines. In a humanist vein, Exodus 21:10 warns that when men take additional wives, they must still provide for their previous one. (Exodus 21:16 adds that if a man seduces a virgin and has sex with her, he has to marry her, too.)

But that’s not all. In biblical society, when you conquered another city, tribe, or nation, the victorious men would “win” their defeated foes’ wives as part of the spoils. It also commanded levirate marriage, the system wherein, if a man died, his younger brother would have to marry his widow and produce heirs with her who would be considered the older brother’s descendants. Now that’s traditional marriage!

"  - Traditional Marriage: One Man, Many Women, Some Girls, Some Slaves | Sexuality/Gender | Religion Dispatches (via dendroica) Registered & Protected

""We love our straight girlfriends coming in to celebrate one of the happiest days of their life," says Abbey owner David Cooley. "But it’s also a slap in the face to my customers and my life that we can’t have that same celebration."

Really? Because the last time I checked, having a gay wedding isn’t illegal anywhere in the United States — and neither is having a within-the-legal-limits hell-raising gay bachelor or bachelorette party. While I appreciate Cooley’s sentiment and the statement he’s trying to make here, it sends a strange message to people — that you can’t get married or celebrate your wedding until your government says you may do so. We’re fighting for our marriages to be legally recognized, not to have the right to devote our lives to the person we fall in love with. That’s not within the government’s jurisdiction."  -

It’s Not Illegal to Have a Gay Wedding - Kirsten Palladino

I had actually never thought about it this way, and it’s a pretty interesting point. Registered & Protected


Sexual regulations are not just about sex. By regulating sex, the state attempts to regulate family life and American social relations more broadly… when the Supreme Court upheld a state’s right to ban homosexual sodomy in 1986, it reasoned that privacy rights do not extend to homosexual sodomy because ‘none of the fundamental rights announced in this Court’s prior cases involving family relationships, marriage or procreation bear any resemblance to the right asserted in this case.’

One of our fundamental concerns, then, is that promises of ‘freedom’ and ‘privacy’— promises supposedly made to every American by virtue of being a citizen— are actually held out as rewards, not rights, and only to those who belong to the right kind of family.

"  - Janet R. Jakobsen and Ann Pellegrini, Love the Sin: Sexual Regulation and the Limits of Religious Tolerance (via authorlauralee) Registered & Protected

For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage 

Motherhood without marriage among younger women across the country is both a symbol of the transforming family and a hint of coming generational change. Registered & Protected Registered & Protected Registered & Protected